I grew up as a skinny kid, I was always active and ready to go. I would go hiking on a moment’s notice. I would leave the house and come home hours later. I was also a rebellious kid. I never dressed the way my parents wanted me to dress. Some days I would be all in black, some days I would be in baggy pants with matching t-shirts and a skateboard on my back. That’s just how I was.
My favorite music was metal with rock being next and then punk-pop, although secretly I loved classical music too. I would put on headphones and sit and listen for hours to random bands, old bands, new bands, one hit wonder bands. I didn’t have a care in the world.
Then I met my ex and things changed. I was 19. I left home, moved in with him and spent two years eating take out because I didn’t know how to cook. I lost some friends along the way because of how I acted. When I finally got the courage up to leave him and return home I realized how immature I had been. I realized I still needed to learn more about the world before I tried living on my own or with someone again.
I still ate the take outs, I became less active and I piled on the pounds. I began to play online games such as World of Warcraft and Ogame. I went from the extrovert, confident woman to an introvert with low self esteem. I got into another hazardous relationship and even moved countries for six months to be with him.
When I came back, I was the same girl but this time a little smaller and more low self esteem. I really do know how to pick the jerks in this world.
While with my international ex, I met a few friends on online games and although I didn’t know it at the time, I met my now husband. He and I were both in relations (obviously) but soon after I broke up with my ex, he did the same. We were still friends at that point but we began to talk more and it finally came out that we liked each other.
He showed me a life I never thought possible, real love I never thought I would have. He showed me how a real man treated a woman. We got married soon after and to this day, we are together, working as a team to raise our little one.
I know my husband loves me just the way I am and even if I lost weight, he would still love me. The problem is, I don’t really know if I love me as much as I should.
So this is where my journey starts.
This blog will be my record of my journey. This isn’t just for me but for my little one too. I would love to run after my little one and not get out of breath. I want my little one to have both mommy and daddy chasing her in a game of tag or have races with her. I want her to grow up and be as active as I was and plan to be again. I don’t want my little one growing up and being able to say mommy never played with me like daddy did.
My goal? Is to lose weight without losing my curves. Women come in different shapes and sizes. I really do get that but if you are not happy in your own skin then there is an issue. I would like to be able to look down and not have some of the floor hidden by my belly.
I just hope that if anyone reads this and can relate to any part of this, then they can find their inner confidence like I plan to do.